What is Negative Self-Talk?
Just like the saying you are what you eat, you are what you THINK. It is important to notice when we are being too hard on ourselves and use negative self-talk. For most, we do this so often that we are unaware that we do it and how to deal with it. Think of your mind as a computer with its set programing of mental thoughts. We have to identify the statements that have been programed to use and reset them.
Your thoughts affect how you react to situations in life and most of the time we use them to motivate and inspire us on. Unfortunately we use these statements to create pressure more than inspiration. You know the feeling of when a paper or report is due and the deadline is approaching. We use negative self-talk to make sure we getting it done. While it helps to get us moving it also creates stress that builds and affects our health. When we stress and do not relieve or reduce that stress we can cause our bodies to gain weight, lower our immune functions, and create a downwards spiral to ill health.
When it comes to your New Year's Resolutions, motivate yourself with positive affirmations and delete the Negative self-talk.
Recognize when you use Negativity Self-Talk
You are in a inner dialog of negative self-talk all day long. About 75% of what we say to ourselves is used against us by ourselves. Maybe some of it was said to us over and over in school, home, work, but we have to change it. If you have statements or thoughts that have these phrases in them then you need to start with those.- I can't
- I don't
- I'm sorry
- I tried
- I can't finish this
- It won't be in time
- It's not good enough, it's not clean enough
- I wish I had more energy
- I doubt
- All these indicate failure and you want to motivate not demean. How many of these do you say daily? You can change them around to say "I will and I can!" I know I use to say these statements to myself often throughout the day in just my chores and schedule. I looked at my accomplishments with negative influence that it was done, but not the way I wanted it. I learned to say "look at all I accomplished today", instead of what had to be left for tomorrow. I learned that not everything goes as planned and I stayed positive in my work. This decreased my stress and helped me be a better Stay at Home mom.
When situations arise we tend to bring up old emotions of
negative self-talk because it becomes habit.
This becomes a stressor that results in anxiety and a state of chronic
stress. This is where we will break this
cycle with Positive Affirmations.
Our mind stores past experiences, beliefs, and ideas, just
like a computer. But like any computer
they are only as good as the information that is stored in it. You control what is put in your computer
(mind), and it is important to program your memory bank with positive, healthful
thoughts.
5 Steps to a positive healthy mind
- Presentence. State your desire as if it has already
happened. “I am relaxed and
calm", do not say a want to be relaxed and calm, you want to claim
that it already is. Do not say
"I will get organized" but rather, “I am well organized". You are training your thoughtful state
to feel the phrase and it is something that becomes automatic.
- Make
it Personal. Use the word I or your
name. “I am healthy and
happy".
- Use
positive phrases only. Do not say,
"I will not lose my temper".
What happens is your mind pictures you blowing up or yelling? It recalls the results of the negative
what it. In stead say, "I am
calm and relaxed", or "my emotions are correctly
expressed". I am not saying so
not express your feelings or to suppress them, but rather to give your
self positive memories to over come the stressor to stay calm and manage
the emotions that are arising.
Affirmations help you to relax and understand your behavior.
- Be
specific. If you want to lose
weight that make it about that fact.
First visualize yourself as the person you wish to be. Make this a picture to carry with
you. Phrase: “I am losing weight healthy and I am 10
pounds lighter", and see yourself happy, healthy, and the ten lbs
gone.
- Be realistic. If you want to make $100,000 next year and your current income is $30, 000, then this is not a realistic affirmation. If you are 50 lbs over weight and you want to be 50 lbs lighter in 2 weeks this is not realistic. Make a plan of increase or decrease within a realistic level. “I am 5 lbs lighter this week". Or "I will be making $5, 000 more next year". When we have a goal of realistic affirmations our mind looks to make that happen.
For affirmations to work you must repeat them.
You want to pick 3-4 phrases and repeat them
throughout the day.
- Say
your affirmations before bed and when waking.
- Say
them when relaxing or meditating on the affirmation.
- Say
your affirmation both in your mind and say aloud. Hearing the affirmation reinforces the
message. Be sure to listen and
believe.
- Write
down your affirmations. When we see
them in writing it makes a strong visual connection.
- Repeat your affirmations into the mirror. This will create rapid changes to see you and hear your voice saying and owning the affirmation.
Examples
Find a quite place or a place of comfort. Breathe in deep through your nose and out deep
through your mouth. Slow your breathing
to deep breaths in and out.
1. "I am calm
and relaxed". Breathe in and out
slowly.
2. "Everyday in
everyway I am getting better and better".
Or “Healthier and Healthier" Breath in and out slowly.
3. "I am filled
with energy all day long". " am getting Stronger and Stronger"
Breathe
in and out slowly.
See yourself as these imagines.
What are some Positive Affirmations you will start using today?
Be sure to see yesterdays Post on New Year's Resolutions That Work.
This is your year to make some awesome changes.
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Living.
Love this. It is something I need to practice more of. I try to reduce my negative thoughts of others yet often forget about myself. Very nice article.
ReplyDeleteI used to be really bad for negative self talk but I have worked on it a lot.
ReplyDeleteMany people really are their own harshest critic.
Dawn
I was AWFUL about this in Middle and High School. It takes a lot to get over it, and more past it.
ReplyDeleteVery inspirational, I don't do this a lot myself, but my husband does and so do my kids. I'm working on it with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI have always been horrible about negative self talk. I am trying to do better with it this year! Love this post.
ReplyDeleteI try to do this with my kids - always find something good to say. Kind of a pollyanna approach. Thanks for the reminder to do it for myself too!
ReplyDeleteSUCH a powerful article!!!! Under the heading "5 Steps to a positive healthy mind" the first and third bullet points are outstanding - we should examine how we self talk to turn it into the positive. I cant wait to try this out today :) I bookmarked and shared this article to tw, fb & g+ - thank you SO MUCH!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat article! People tease me all the time that my glass is always full sometimes over flowing! I laugh and say it beats being empty any day!
ReplyDeleteThose are such great tips! Affirmations are amazing. It's so important to be positive towards oneself. Thanks for this amazing post!
ReplyDelete