Wednesday, January 2, 2013

What is Negative Self-Talk and Does It Hurt Me?

What is Negative Self-Talk?

Just like the saying you are what you eat, you are what you THINK.  It is important to notice when we are being too hard on ourselves and use negative self-talk.  For most, we do this so often that we are unaware that we do it and how to deal with it.  Think of your mind as a computer with its set programing of mental thoughts.  We have to identify the statements that have been programed to use and reset them. 

Your thoughts affect how you react to situations in life and most of the time we use them to motivate and inspire us on.  Unfortunately we use these statements to create pressure more than inspiration.  You know the feeling of when a paper or report is due and the deadline is approaching.  We use negative self-talk to make sure we getting it done.  While it helps to get us moving it also creates stress that builds and affects our health.  When we stress and do not relieve or reduce that stress we can cause our bodies to gain weight, lower our immune functions, and create a downwards spiral to ill health.

When it comes to your New Year's Resolutions, motivate yourself with positive affirmations and delete the Negative self-talk. 

Recognize when you use Negativity Self-Talk 
You are in a inner dialog of negative self-talk all day long.  About 75% of what we say to ourselves is used against us by ourselves.  Maybe some of it was said to us over and over in school, home, work, but we have to change it.  If you have statements or thoughts that have these phrases in them then you need to start with those.
  • I can't
  • I don't
  • I'm sorry
  • I tried           
  • I can't finish this
  • It won't be in time
  • It's not good enough, it's not clean enough
  • I wish I had more energy
  • I doubt
  •  All these indicate failure and you want to motivate not demean.  How many of these do you say daily?  You can change them around to say "I will and I can!"  I know I use to say these statements to myself often throughout the day in just my chores and schedule.  I looked at my accomplishments with negative influence that it was done, but not the way I wanted it.  I learned to say "look at all I accomplished today", instead of what had to be left for tomorrow.  I learned that not everything goes as planned and I stayed positive in my work.  This decreased my stress and helped me be a better Stay at Home mom. 

When situations arise we tend to bring up old emotions of negative self-talk because it becomes habit.  This becomes a stressor that results in anxiety and a state of chronic stress.  This is where we will break this cycle with Positive Affirmations.

Our mind stores past experiences, beliefs, and ideas, just like a computer.  But like any computer they are only as good as the information that is stored in it.  You control what is put in your computer (mind), and it is important to program your memory bank with positive, healthful thoughts. 
5 Steps to a positive healthy mind
  • Presentence.  State your desire as if it has already happened.  “I am relaxed and calm", do not say a want to be relaxed and calm, you want to claim that it already is.  Do not say "I will get organized" but rather, “I am well organized".  You are training your thoughtful state to feel the phrase and it is something that becomes automatic. 
  • Make it Personal.  Use the word I or your name.  “I am healthy and happy". 
  • Use positive phrases only.  Do not say, "I will not lose my temper".  What happens is your mind pictures you blowing up or yelling?  It recalls the results of the negative what it.  In stead say, "I am calm and relaxed", or "my emotions are correctly expressed".  I am not saying so not express your feelings or to suppress them, but rather to give your self positive memories to over come the stressor to stay calm and manage the emotions that are arising.  Affirmations help you to relax and understand your behavior. 
  • Be specific.  If you want to lose weight that make it about that fact.  First visualize yourself as the person you wish to be.  Make this a picture to carry with you.  Phrase:  “I am losing weight healthy and I am 10 pounds lighter", and see yourself happy, healthy, and the ten lbs gone. 
  • Be realistic.  If you want to make $100,000 next year and your current income is $30, 000, then this is not a realistic affirmation.  If you are 50 lbs over weight and you want to be 50 lbs lighter in 2 weeks this is not realistic.  Make a plan of increase or decrease within a realistic level. “I am 5 lbs lighter this week".  Or "I will be making $5, 000 more next year".  When we have a goal of realistic affirmations our mind looks to make that happen. 

For affirmations to work you must repeat them. 
You want to pick 3-4 phrases and repeat them throughout the day. 
  • Say your affirmations before bed and when waking. 
  • Say them when relaxing or meditating on the affirmation. 
  • Say your affirmation both in your mind and say aloud.  Hearing the affirmation reinforces the message.  Be sure to listen and believe. 
  • Write down your affirmations.  When we see them in writing it makes a strong visual connection. 
  • Repeat your affirmations into the mirror.  This will create rapid changes to see you and hear your voice saying and owning the affirmation.
Find a quite place or a place of comfort.  Breathe in deep through your nose and out deep through your mouth.  Slow your breathing to deep breaths in and out. 
1.  "I am calm and relaxed".  Breathe in and out slowly.
2.  "Everyday in everyway I am getting better and better".  Or “Healthier and Healthier" Breath in and out slowly.
3.  "I am filled with energy all day long".  "  am getting Stronger and Stronger"
Breathe in and out slowly.
See yourself as these imagines. 
What are some Positive Affirmations you will start using today?
Be sure to see yesterdays Post on New Year's Resolutions That Work. 
This is your year to make some awesome changes. 
Disclaimer: I am not paid for my announcements, news, or post. These are my opinions and thoughts. I enjoying bring my readers wonderful Companies, Events, Health News, and Green Living.


  1. Love this. It is something I need to practice more of. I try to reduce my negative thoughts of others yet often forget about myself. Very nice article.

  2. I used to be really bad for negative self talk but I have worked on it a lot.

    Many people really are their own harshest critic.


  3. I was AWFUL about this in Middle and High School. It takes a lot to get over it, and more past it.

  4. Very inspirational, I don't do this a lot myself, but my husband does and so do my kids. I'm working on it with the kids.

  5. I have always been horrible about negative self talk. I am trying to do better with it this year! Love this post.

  6. I try to do this with my kids - always find something good to say. Kind of a pollyanna approach. Thanks for the reminder to do it for myself too!

  7. SUCH a powerful article!!!! Under the heading "5 Steps to a positive healthy mind" the first and third bullet points are outstanding - we should examine how we self talk to turn it into the positive. I cant wait to try this out today :) I bookmarked and shared this article to tw, fb & g+ - thank you SO MUCH!!!

  8. Great article! People tease me all the time that my glass is always full sometimes over flowing! I laugh and say it beats being empty any day!

  9. Those are such great tips! Affirmations are amazing. It's so important to be positive towards oneself. Thanks for this amazing post!