Taking Care of Mom How I Take Care of Me

 

Welcome to the May 2013 Natural Living Blog Carnival: Taking Time for Mom. This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Natural Living Blog Carnival hosted by Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project through the Green Moms Network. Oftentimes, Moms are so busy taking care of their families that they forget to take care of themselves. This month our carnival participants have written posts about what they do just for themselves.

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It is actually really easy for me to forget about taking care of myself, because I stay so busy taking care of my family, my church, our elementary school, the community projects, and the list goes on.  I first want to say that I love being a mom.  It is everything I ever wanted and I am very blessed.  I also love to help others anytime a need comes up.  So what do I do to stay grounded and remember to take care of myself?

I think it is important to find something you love in addition to being a mom and do it.  I remember a year when my husband asked me, where you would like to go on a dream vacation and I could not answer him.  I had no idea.  I had become too wrapped around the idea of I had to stay home to take the kids to their activities, to cook, to check homework, and visualized that the house would fall apart if I went anywhere.  I take pride in all the things I do for the household, but I should have thought beyond that.  He asked me to think about it and get back to him.  I took my time thinking on where I wanted my once in a lifetime destination to be.  During that time I also attended a MOPS meeting and a question was asked; "Tell me about you".  I started telling about my kids, the pets, the places we have lived, my husband’s job, but not once did I mention something about just me.  This was a shocking eye opener for me because I think I should have been able to mention more personal interest along with my family.  

While my family and activities are important and loved, they should not be all that define who I am.    I decided that I needed to take time for myself and relax a little.  Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought you aged over night?  By taking a few steps to take time for myself, I have reversed the signs of aging, lost weight, and handled stress better.  With a few additions listed below I noticed I laughed more, balanced my schedule better, and was a better example for my kids.  They see everything we do, and I want them to know taking care of you is important; you just have to rearrange something's, make priorities, and don't sweat the small stuff.     

 

What are some things I changed to take time out for me?

·         RUNNING.  I started running and signing up for races.  I am blessed to have a very supportive family that encouraged me while I was taking this journey.  I cannot tell you how relaxing it is to head out and just run.  When I took the time to not just eat right, but get physically active I reduced my stress level.  I know it sounds like adding something to my schedule would be counter active, but it gave me time for myself and the activity made me feel better about me.

·         YOGA.  I started doing daily yoga.  Whether it was for 15 minutes or longer sessions I felt better, more relaxed, and stronger.  The breathing, balancing, and focus you do while doing a yoga exercise helps to forget about the things that need to be done and relaxes me.   It helps to clear my head and recharge my soul. 

·         EAT.  I know you are thinking that everyone does that, but I meant to eat right.  Are you the parent that grabs something and practically swallows it whole eating it as fast as you can while doing other things?  That use to be me, and I called it multitasking.  I was not doing my body justice by rushing.  Maybe you even skip meals saying there is not enough time, or you make sure the kids eat and you just chug down some coffee, but you are not helping yourself.  It is important to sit, yes I said sit, down and enjoy your food.  Make a conscious effort chew every bite completely and taste your food.  This simple step can reduce stress, anxiety, and indigestion.

·         READ.  I love to read books.  I can totally lose myself in a novel and this is my night time indulgence.  After I put the kids to bed, give kisses, and prayers, I am off to a faraway place to read for an hour. 

·         GET SLEEP.  I include this after my reading because I make sure to shut down my iPad and get in a good night sleep.  I could easily stay up all night long reading a good book, but sleep is the time our bodies rest and repair.  If I am up watching TV, reading, cleaning, on the computer I am adding stress to my body when it should be resting.  Make sure you give yourself a bedtime as well. 

·         GARDEN.  I love to plant seeds and watch my garden grow.  When I head outside to water I like to take deep breaths, listen to the birds, feel the textures of the plants, and get my hands dirty.  There is something very therapeutic about gardening that reconnects us to nature and the simplicity of life.  I also feel a personal accomplishment when I eat veggies and lettuces from my own garden. 

·         FRIENDS.  Make time for your friends.  I have been so busy that I looked back and thought it’s been months since I had coffee with a friend.  Your friends might actually need the time just as much as you.  One thing I can recommend is to mark your calendar and never schedule over it.  On Thursdays I blocked out time after my run that is there for a house visit, coffee, or quick shopping trip.  Make an area on your calendar that is for friends only, and use it.

·         LUNCH DATES.  I have four kids so getting a babysitter can be more expensive than the actual date.  For this reason my husband and I take a lunch outing.  Once a month I ask him to open his work calendar for us to meet for a lunch date.  This way the kids are in school and we can have adult conversation with out the distractions.  I noticed we get to sit together and actually hold hands.  We love our kids so much and found that on family outing we are holding the kid’s hands instead of our own, not to mention that at the table we are spaced between the kids never sitting by each other.  Making sure that I take this time as a couple enriched our marriage and keeps my spirits soring. 

I rescheduled my activities and made a point to take care of me along with my family.  I still like to put my family first, because I love being a mom, and now I add time for things that are beneficial for me too. I like to give the kids everything they need and tell myself that I don't need anything extra, but I think sometimes I do.  Simple things like listed above should be done normally, but can be left undone, so I make an effort to give myself that down time.

When making time for yourself, you want to reduce a few things that may cause you stress or over pack your schedule.  I volunteer at my children's school and there is always a function, event, or something to help with.  While I am usually available I have trained myself to say NO.  On Tuesday and Thursdays I take longer runs and cannot be at the school.  At the beginning of the year I accepted some tasking pushing my runs to the side and helping the school.  What happened was my body got more tired and I noticed I was moodier.  While helping brings me joy, I had to learn to pass on something's to make sure I took care of myself.  This is still a hard task, the word no tends to get stuck in my throat, but I am working on it.  When you commit yourself to YOU, then you need to make sure you meet that deadline.  You have to take care of yourself for your health and your family.  You are a better mom when you take that time to recharge, relax, eat right, and keep a healthy schedule.     

If you are wondering where I took my Anniversary Vacation is was 8 days in Scotland. 

I cherished every minute of it too. 

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Visit Happy Mothering and The Pistachio Project to learn more about participating in next month’s Natural Living Blog Carnival! Please take some time to enjoy the posts our other carnival participants have contributed: